The Talking Pencil

My daddy is the principal at a school in Linden. His third graders had an assignment to write a two-paragraph story about a talking pencil, and they asked my dad to write one.
Here is his brilliant masterpiece!!

Talking Pencil
by Mr. Rhineheart
Do you ever have the feeling you are being watched? Well, I had that feeling this morning when I went into my office. I kept looking over my shoulder and under my desk to see if anyone else was there. I didn’t see anything so I began to work. I was typing a long email to a parent when I thought I heard some giggling. I jumped to my feet and again looked all over the office. The more I looked the more giggling I heard. Obviously, someone thought this was very funny. Finally, in frustration, I lay my head down on my desk thinking I must be going crazy. That is when I found out who was laughing at me. My pencil was giggling, and when it saw me looking at it and knew it was caught, laughed even louder and said, “Good Morning, Mr. Rhineheart.”
Now, I almost fell off my chair. It isn’t everyday that you hear a talking pencil. Feeling a little silly for talking back to a lead filled stick with a rubber eraser for a hat, I asked, “What do you want?” The little voice told me that it was there to warn me about a secret, evil plot by Mrs. Warren and the third grade class to get me to write a story. The pencil said I needed to be ready because they were going to ask me to write a funny story so they could laugh at me. It said that pencils and pens at the school are always watching out for sneaky teachers and classes, and Mrs. Warren’s third grade class was the sneakiest! The pencil offered to help me write a story right away.
What should I do? I thought quickly and made my decision. There is no way I could trust a talking pencil. I just couldn’t believe my wonderful third graders would try to trick me into writing silly stories. But just to be on the safe side I wrote this story… but I typed it instead.

Isn't he so talented!!! I love my daddy!!
Now, of course I couldn't pass up an opportunity to write a silly story, so I decided to share write one! Here is my slightly lamer contribution....

Once upon a time there was a beautiful Pen named Bic. Bic had a long, lick lid and her ink was always a nice pink stream. She even had a comfort grip on her neck. She was lovely. The whole kingdom of drawer loved Bic. The young gentlemen Pens were always trying to take her out for a twirl around the paper, but Bic wasn't impressed by any of them. She didn't like that strong blue-inked type. They were too set their ways – never admitting their mistakes, never trying to erase the problem, but moving on or crossing them out instead. Bic was sure she would never fall in love.
One day a new guy came to the kingdom of drawer. Someone unlike anyone the pens had ever seen. He was taller he was orange, he didn't have a lid, instead he wore a pink piece of rubber on his head, and he was ergonomically correct. His name was HB the second. Bic was entranced. Never before had she seen someone so handsome! She approached him and timidly asked him what the pink thing on his head was used for. When he tenderly explained that it was for the erasing of his mistakes she was in love. The two of them went for twirls around the paper and eventually they were inseparable!
And they lived happily ever after!

Who doesn't love a good talking pencil story??