Patience Is a Virtue

Some of you already know this story. Some of you only know bits and pieces of this story. Some of you don't know anything about this story. But I feel like I should share it with you, not so you will feel badly for me - that is not my intention at all - but instead to just get it off of my chest and help me feel better about it, and maybe to help someone out there who is feeling alone in their trials. Beside, how would this family journal be complete without every story of our family?

In August of 2008 Jon and I decided that we wanted to start a family. We had prayed and fasted and gone to the temple and we felt that it was the right time for us to have a baby. Naturally we were both very excited about the idea. We had stopped taking birth control pills a few months before and were using other methods of protection because the pill was making me feel cranky and unpleasant all the time, so we thought that we were ready - my body was free of birth control and we would soon be pregnant.

A few months went by...we were casually counting the days of my cycle and trying to determine ovulation just based on that, and we were not too concerned. It takes a while for this kind of thing to happen after all, and we weren't sure that the birth control was entirely out of my system.

I continued to try to eat good foods and avoid anything that would be hazardous to a pregnancy (if I were to become pregnant, I didn't want anything in my system that would be dangerous). I refused to take any medicine, I never drank caffeine, and was trying to eat things that I knew would give me the vitamins I would need to carry a healthy baby.

A few more months went by and we started to get a little bit worried....this was taking longer than we planned. Still, we didn't get too freaked out. Sometimes these things take time and we would just wait. Besides, we were still getting the kinks worked out about our financial plan for a baby, so we could wait.

A few more months went by. We got the fanciest insurance plan available through my job so we were sure to be covered when we did get pregnant. We discussed what we would do financially. We moved in to a cleaner apartment with an extra bedroom and I daydreamed about how I would decorate it for a nursery. Why was this taking so long?

A year went by - and by this time we were a little bit concerned. My sister-in-law suggested we buy the 20 day ovulation kit. for those of you who aren't familiar with this, it is a kit with little sticks you pee on (kind of like a pregnancy test) that indicate when you are ovulating, so you are sure not to miss it. I used the kit faithfully, but there were many months were the sticks never "turned blue" to indicate that I was ovulating. Naturally, this made me a little nervous.

I scheduled an appointment with an OB/GYN that I had never heard of, but that was close to my house. I was due for my annual visit anyways (girls, don't we love that annual visit) so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and ask him about pre-conception and why my sticks weren't turning blue while I was there.

It was without a doubt the worst doctor's appointment I had ever had! He was the worst doctor I had ever had and I was very uncomfortable and angry when I left - but that is another story. When I asked him about the ovulation sticks, he asked if I had periods - I said that I did, and he said, in a tone that suggested that I was the biggest idiot on the planet, that if I had periods I must ovulate so I had nothing to worry about.

Ok.....so we continued to do the counting. I continued to research. I read everything I could get my hands on - every article the internet had to offer, every youtube video, every book from the library or Barnes and Noble - everything! I am an expert on getting pregnant! And we followed all the rules. I ate cinnamon almonds and made Jon eat tomato soup and popcorn as these things were certain to increase fertility, and that is only the tip of the iceberg. Poor Jon had to do so many crazy things!

Then we went to another doctor. This one was much better, but she said that we had to get Jon tested first because we have to rule the man out before we even test the woman.

This was a problem.

You see, we had gotten insurance for me because I was the one who would be getting pregnant, but we could not afford insurance for Jon as well. How would we be able to afford a test like that?

So, we waited and counted and more months went by.....

Then it was time for my next annual appointment (ok, I was really late for it, but I was fed up with these doctors and their lack of answers, so I was not jumping for joy to make that appointment) so I scheduled it with yet another doctor.

While we were there we again asked about our problems with getting pregnant. By this time it was 19 months, and we were very concerned - we are young and healthy, why are we having these problems?

This doctor ordered some blood tests on me and explained that they would test me to see if there was something obvious in my blood, and if it looked like I was fine, then we would test Jon. This was music to our ears!! Finally a step in the right direction, and it wouldn't break the bank!

I went and got my blood work done, and a week later went back to the office for an ultrasound and the results of my blood work. The doctor came in and explained that I had a cyst on my right ovary, but that it looked like it was going to go away or burst on it's own so they weren't too worried about that, but what they were worried about was my progesterone level. She explained that the progesterone level should be at an 8 or higher (10 or 11 is average), but that mine was at a 1. This means that I rarely, if ever, ovulate. Finally an answer!!!

She wrote me a prescription for Clomid - a drug that triggers something in your brain to help release eggs - gave me the instructions on how to take it and that was that.

Well, I finished my round of Clomid about a week ago. This coming up week I go back for another blood test and then it's back to the doctor where I will see if my progesterone level is higher and if they need to up my dose for the next month.

The medicine makes me feel pretty crappy. Very tired, sometimes nauseous, extra moody and emotional - but in spite of that, I am so excited to be on the right track towards starting a family! A few nights ago, Jon and I were driving home when I just burst into tears. He asked me what was wrong, and I didn't have an answer because I didn't know why I was crying - but I did tell him that I was so grateful for how terrible I was feeling because I knew that the medicine was doing something!

This has been the greatest trial for both of us, but we have been so blessed in so many other things. We can't help but recognize the Lord's hand in our lives - we know that He hears our prayers and knows the righteous desires of our hearts. The best we can do is keep praying, keep living the commandments, keep being positive, and put our trust in Him.

Maybe He is trying to teach us that patience is a virtue.

The Good In The World - New Blog!

BYU TV has a new slogan - See The Good In The World. This inspired me to create a blog dedicated to the good in the world.

It seems to get harder and harder to see good in a world where there is so much bad, but I believe that if we practice, we can get better and recognizing the good things - they are all around us!

My new blog will be a group effort to see the good in everything around us!

Together we will can practice seeing the good and we can help each other!

I am so excited to see the good things you will share with me and so excited to start looking for my own good things!!

Won't this be fun!!!! Please check it out!

thegoodintheworld.blogspot.com

I Made Jon Take An Online Quiz - Here Are His Answers

50 Random Questions

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?

At Home

2. Who are you in love with?

My wife who left a cracker on the ground

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?

No

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yes - a pink cup

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?

Ummm...last weekend (?)

6. Are you wearing socks right now?

Yep, regular white ones

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?

(head nod) Toyota Corolla

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?

I don't remember - but we went to Snowflake

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

No

10. Are you hot?

Oh Yeah!! Yeah I am!!!

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

12. What are you wearing right now?

Underpants

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?

I let the rain do it since I'm too poor to afford a car was (giggles)

14. Last food that you ate?

Tomato Soup and Crackers

15. Where were you last week at this time?

At the Attorney Genera's Office working

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

No

17. When is the last time you ran?

Tuesday night...unfortunately (he has been sore ever since)

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?

Ward softball game

19. What is your favorite animal?

White Tiger - growl

20. Your dream vacation?

Going to...um...Belize and to that island that The Bachelor was on.

21. Last person's house you were in?

Aaron Brown's

22. Worst injury you've ever had?

Broke my finger...and a torn meniscus

23. Have you been in love?

Yes I have and still am!

24. Do you miss anyone right now?

My Grandpa

25. Last play you saw?

Wicked

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

I'm not in that business anymore

27. What are your plans for tonight?

Have fun.....

28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?

No idea...it has been 3 years since I used MySpace

29. Next trip you are going to take?

To Wal Mart

30. Ever go to camp?

Yes, Boy Scout Camp

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?

Sometimes....

32. What do you want to know about the future?

If I'm going to have a job

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?

Not right now

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?

Probably....

35. Where is your best friend?

About 3 feet away from me (he means me!!)

36. How is your best friend?

She's really cute...

37. Do you have a tan?

Yeah - a nice farmer's tan from being in school 8 hours a day

38. What are you listening to right now?

Special Report with Bret Baier

39. Do you collect anything?

Kisses from my wife

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?

I don't run in gossip circles

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

2004 - A police officer from the Indian reservation pulled me over, but he forgot to sign the ticket, so I didn't have to pay it.

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?

Yeah

43. What does your last text message say?

"You will love me so much anyways" (it was from me. He told me he would love me so much if I made brownies for his home teaching families...)

44. Do you like hot sauce?

I like "mild" hot sauce

45. Last time you took a shower?

This morning

46. Do you need to do laundry?

yes

47. What is your heritage?

Americano

48. Are you someone's best friend?

I hope so (yes!! he is my very, very best friend!)

49. Are you rich?

No, I'm in student debt up to my eyeballs!!

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?

Sleeping

Credit Repair Companies

Surveys and Quizzes for MySpace

Graduation!!

Jon graduates from Law School on May 14th of this year! We get so excited the closer it gets!

This week he got his cap and gown and I was so excited I couldn't even wait to see it! I told him to put it all on immediately so I could see it!

He didn't want to, but I won and I got these fun pictures!!

Of course I can't wait until he is wearing it for real! I am so proud of him! Doesn't he look handsome??

The Evolution of Stress

Working at a school has helped me to realize what I like to call "The Evolution of Stress" - allow me to explain:

One day a little 2 or 3 year old girl came in to the office with her mom to sign out one of our high school kids for the day. This little girl was absolutely balling her eyes out. You would have thought the world had fallen down right on her head. She was very, very upset.

I asked her what was making her so sad, and she very seriously said, "My Balloon".

Mom explained that her balloon was left in the car while they came in to pick up brother and the little girl was not happy about it.

Oh, wouldn't it be nice if our biggest stress was a balloon!!??

Another day, my little first grade friend, who visits me every day after school, came in looking very distraught. I asked him what was wrong, and he explained that he had had a very bad day. I asked him why and he simply said, "I got on yellow". Now, for those of you who don't speak "first grade" let me explain what this means: each kid in the class has a card with 3 colors - green, yellow and red. If the kid is good all day he/she will stay on green. If they start acting up and have to be warned more than once, the teacher will ask the kid to turn his/her card to yellow. When the kid continues to get in trouble, he/she will have to turn the card to red and more drastic measures need to be taken.

Well, my little guy has very good parents who give him consequences at home if he gets in trouble at school, and since he "got on yellow" he would have his Nintendo DS and television privileges revoked for a week (What to go parents!!), and my little guy knew that this was probably one of the worst things that could happen in his little world.

Oh, wouldn't it be nice if our biggest stress was getting on yellow!!??

Then you have my junior high kids who come to school tardy and their only excuse is "I woke up late". The rules say that they are to be issued a detention, and to some of them, losing their lunch period is the most horrible thing ever!!!

Then I think - sometimes I don't even get a lunch break and I show up on time to work!!!

Oh, wouldn't it be nice if our biggest stress were detention!!??

Now we get to High School, and all I have to say is one word - Prom. Will I get a date? What will I wear? Will he be able to match? Where do we go for dinner? Do I have enough money for tickets? What will the theme be? How will it be decorated? Will my mom and dad let me borrow the car?

Oh, wouldn't it be nice if our biggest stress were prom!!??

Then our high school kids graduate and they officially become grown ups - where most of us are now...

It's true that some of them will continue to live at home, or they will still be supported by their parents while they go to college, but eventually (and sooner than they know it) they will be living the "grown up life" and they will have brand new stresses: money, bills, higher education, marriage, kids, gray hairs (caused by kids), jobs, cars breaking down, gaining weight (our metabolisms slow down when we get older), midlife crisis, menopause, 401 Ks, sleep deprivation, stock market, politics......the list goes on an on.......

But then I realized, we have been trained for this stuff - we have had the balloon stress and the yellow stress and the detention stress and the prom stress! Each of these stresses has been a little bit bigger and more "grown up" than the last, so we are now able to handle the actual stresses life brings!

So, we can handle this! Whatever we are going through, we can handle it because we have had years of practice!!

Doesn't that make you feel good??

And, somewhere there may be someone who has already gone through what you are going through and saying, "Oh, wouldn't it be nice if my biggest stress was (insert thing here)" because they are on to bigger and better stresses!!!! And there are some people who are just there to help you out because they know what it is like.

I guess my point is, it's all good!! There is stress in life, but we know how to deal with it and there are people there to help and support us, so it's all good!!!!

It's all good!

ASU will be getting a letter......

I don't know how many of you Sun Devils read "The State Press" - ASU's school newspaper, but Jon picked one up the other day, when he had nothing else to read on the bus. He came home and immediately told me that I needed to read a few of the articles, because there are 3 offensive articles and a horrible comic strip and he couldn't believe somebody wrote it, let alone got it published!!

The first article is called "Missionary works double sided" and it is written by Austin Yost.

Yost apparently believes that missionaries do not deserve the respect, honor or admiration we give them because they have alternative motives. He claims that missionaries (from any church) only perform acts of service for two reasons: 1) to "sell" their religious subscription and 2) because they want to impress God.

"Missionaries seem to think they have a special relationship with god, such that they feel as though it is their responsibility to dedicate part of their lives to helping people. I find the good work they do commendable, but cannot avoid taking issue with the intent on which many of them act, as explicitly declared by many people and organizations that promote and engage missionary work." Yost says.

He goes on to quote Elder Dallin H. Oaks when he said, "We do missionary work in order to baptize and confirm". He also quotes the New Tribes Mission who said, "NTM exists to ... evangelize unreached people groups, translate the scriptures, and see indigenous churches established that glorify God".

He goes on to say, "In other words, many missionaries are not doing good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds. They are not helping people for the sake of helping people. Rather, their specific intent is to spread the words of the holy book they subscribe to because it is what they think their god demands of them [...] This realization makes the good things many missionaries do seem less convincing, less sincere and less worthy of praise."

This lends itself to his next point. He asks you to compare the way missionaries act to the work place. "Consider an example. Suppose two people work for a company. The first employee says she is going going to volunteer because she wants to help other people. The second employee says that he is going to volunteer because the boss asked him to help unemployed people by giving them a job. Because he wants to please the boss, he complies with the request and does not take into consideration whether unemployed people he finds were even looking for work [...] Many people would think higher of the first employee because her motives seem to be significantly more sincere than those of her counterpart."

He concludes by saying, "When people commit the fatal error of ignoring the intentions behind actions, it allows them to reach the sometimes unjustified conclusion that missionaries should be honored, admired or respected."

Now, I don't care what religion you "subscribe" to, this is one of the most offensive articles I have ever read - and for it to be in the University's newspaper really makes me uncomfortable.

The point that Yost fails to realize is that missionaries serve people and help people, not because they want to "impress" God, but instead because they love Him and his children. They believe that by sharing their message of the Bible and of Heavenly Father, they are providing a service in itself.

I can only speak for missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints because I am most familiar with them, but I know they they are doing good deeds because they realize that every person is their brother and sister and they want to bring them the peace and happiness and love they feel.

I don't know where this guy came from, but I think this is an extremely one-sided and extremely offensive article.

Another article is called "Introducing loaded guns into Grand Canyon an abysmal idea" that ends up not really talking about how guns in the Grand Canyon would be bad, but instead how guns are bad all together. Whether you are pro-2nd amendment or not, the author, Kartik Talamadupula, will surprise you with his lack of research, his one-sided argument, and his poor writing.

Finally, the last offensive article is called "Extreme evangelists pose threat" where Max Feldhake is trying to make explain why Extreme Evangelists are very dangerous, but he ends up talking about regular Christianity. He tries to make is seem as though Christians are worse than other radical groups - his first paragraph says, "A shadow looms large over America and what's more, the world. It is neither radical jihadist or Islamic movements, nor neo-Nazism or neo-Fascism, but rather extreme evangelical Christianity."

I can't believe this guy!!

So, by the time I get to the comics in this newspaper, I am certainly ready for some fun - but then I see a comic strip that I simply could not believe!!

It is called "Blah" and here is how it goes....

Square One:

Character 1: (punching Character 2 in the face) Knock! Knock! Anyone Home??

Square Two:

Character 2: What the hell?! What was that for??

Character 1: Ha Ha D'you know how they say like the eyes are doors to the soul?

Square Three:

Character 2: (With a very angry face and holding Character 1 by the shirt) They also say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Character 1: (smiling) ha ha, yeah? I heard that one bef.....

Square Four:

Character 1 is on the ground with a knife pointing out of his stomach with a puddle of blood.

Ha ha - that's super funny right? WRONG!!! It is probably the most disturbing thing I have ever seen!!! Add to it the fact that the author's name is Qa'ed Tung and I am officially freaked out!!!

All I have to say is, who is the editor of this thing?? Who is the staff advisor who allows this crap to be distributed to the student body of ASU and why doesn't the student body ban together and demand that these people can no longer write!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, all I can say is that Jon and I will be writing a letter to let people know exactly what we feel about this issue of "The State Press".